The Sun Says

by Tommy Mackay

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1.
Ooh you made me live Never mind the magic money tree It's you the DUP Ooh you saved my skin now honey Ooh you made me live Ooh you're the best friends that I ever had I'll be with you for a long time We'll walk in the sunshine and I want you to know That I can play the flute And bang a drum too Terrorist friend
2.
The Conservative And Unionist Negotiating Team Are all over this Send in the CUNTS Useless at Brexit
3.
Destroyer of jobs That's what they like to call me I talk to MPs But they never hear me The EU hasn't time To stop and hear what I say I talk to them all in vain But suddenly my words Reach someone else's ear It's Phil oh dear my dear Taking out the bins Destroyer of jobs For the boys and for the girls I don't have a bloody clue
4.
I'm an enemy of business They don't like my Brexit plans They all hate me over in Brussels And in Germany and France But at least Donald still loves me And the DUP still rings I'm an enemy of business And of most human beings
5.
Jez was quizzical; studied the political Philosophy of Marx Late nights all alone with Das Kapital Oh al al al. Then Ken Livingstone, reading Palestinian History phones up "Can I get back into your party, Jez, eh eh ez?" But Jez just tells him where to go, And knocks out his manifesto. Bang! Bang! Massive tax hikes Came down upon the rich. Bang! Bang! Massive tax hikes Seems to make common sense While you're at it Why not ditch Trident
6.
It's time to meet the unions It's time to talk the talk I'm no puppet of unions - I can walk the walk Let's all say up the workers Stand up for human rights Don't listen to the papers The mainstream media circus Their vitriol can't hurt us Oh the Sun, the Daily Mail, confrontational uninspirational Murdochational They are what I'd call the Muppet Show
7.
Nuclear surrender Protect and survive Nuclear surrender It's good to be alive A finger on the button Keeps everybody warm Happy when the mushroom Clouds creep in Heralding the dawn You can have your retribution When everyone is dead As fallout rains on your head Trident is my pillow No matter where I stray Nuclear surrender I'll dream my dreams away
8.
Ruinous spending And lots of lending I want the world to know I hate austerity Ruinous spending It's never ending It really pisses off the bankers and city I do believe that I could be happy and contented If Buckingham Palace could be a place that's rented I'd make the Queen homeless and nationalise the railways And make Happy Days national anthem Ruinous spending And lots of lending I want the world to know I hate austerity
9.
Open immigration All across the nation Bugger inflation And free education Open immigration European or Asian Or any permuatation I'll shine up my only shoes Put on a brand new shirt I won't bother wearing a tie Or sing the national anthem Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you lying? Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you trying? Running all alone through a wheat field feel like flying Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you lying? Open immigration
10.
Are you ready Jez? Uh-huh Oh what's so funny about health And the equal distribution of wealth - a huh huh Those in charge are such a mess I want to save the NHS - ahuh huh Oh, I see a man at the back of an allotment His eyes are as red as the sun And the woman in the commons gives a shit performance And she thinks she's the passionate one Oh yeah! It was eccentric Canterbury was electric Gimme some TLC Kensington and Chelsea Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah And the man with the beard - he's no feart He's a Marxist extremist And Theresa May has the nerve to say You're a Marxist extremist Extremist, extremist, extremist, extremist Marxist extremist Marxist extremist Marxist extremist Yeah, Marxist extremist

about

On June 8 2017, The Sun produced this front page. I turned the ridiculous bullet points into songs.

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released June 11, 2017

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Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK

Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.

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