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New Years 2013 - 2024

by Tommy Mackay

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1.
2013 03:58
Two zero zero zero What did you do? We never met up for that disco, Jarvis Two zero zero one Space Odyssey didn't come Two zero zero two What exactly did we do? Two zero zero three In this white hot new century Two zero zero four Just the same as we did before Oh what a bloody century this has been 2013 and we're still bloody waiting Here we are in two oh one three Looking back it's so frustrating Two zero zero five On the new millenium drive Two zero zero six We forgot to come alive Two zero zero seven We've revived the past 11 Two zero zero eight Years remembered, years too late Two zero zero nine We still had a real good time Two thousand and ten Again and again and again Two zero one one Do you want me to go on? Two zero one two Retromania's all we do Two zero one three Come on let's start this fucking century
2.
2014 02:07
singing in a vacuum shouting in a void he is not appreciated he is not allowed, he's annoyed I can't believe it's 2014 2014! Rememeber, remember, you will have a say 18th of September, don't throw it away way way way I can't believe it's 2014 2014! Take it on the chin, Take it on the chin, Take it on the chin, Take it on the chin, Take it on the chin, Take it on the chin, Tick tick tick tick It is not a leap year But it's time to leap Time to take a gamble Time to stop behaving like sheep
3.
2015 02:58
Ah ha ha Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? 2.0.1.5 Ever get the feeling we’re living in the end times You’re breaking up, you’re breaking up The end of all the dead times Economy, disaster, stupidity, disease We’re cracking up, we’re cracking up We’re down on our knees Hacking through the jungle of the world wide mess They got your email, your phone and your home address Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? Underwhelmed and disappointed Mismanaged, mistreated 2015 is it just another year? Distractions, misinformation, austerity and fear If you’ve got the power you know who to abuse If you ain’t got the power you know you’re gonna lose Piano’s a patch on Althemy A synth in my PC You may have spilt beans on your favourite jeans But you’re not a patch on me
4.
2016 02:33
Two thousand, one six Two thousand, one six Two thousand, one six Everybody's up to the same old tricks What about a new slate Something new Start afresh Something to do Welcome flags over Dover Happy war, Christmas is over Do you remember years ago 1976 or so Now everything is back in style No year zero just meanwhile Whatever happened to 'don't look back' Looking forward is so old hat Do I have to prove it in a song? Some people are moving on Everybody's waiting for the new quick fix No new order, no new bricks Settling for Little Mix
5.
2017 02:26
2017 – we know where you’ve been But what you got in store? More peace, more love, more hate, more joy, more crap TV, more war 2017 and all points inbetween Keep your pecker up Whatever that means, 2017 The thought that counts is not the thought I’m thinking of that’s clean 2017 Call KKK, whaddya say All you hoodies there? Miss Ann Thropic on the line I’m feeling rough Youre feeling fine I’m no Nostradamus But when Barack Obama’s Fled the scene 2017’s gonna be mean, mean, mean, mean, mean Here are my predictions for 2017 RIP the queen Donald Trump will be portrayed by Mr Michael Sheen We all live on a nuclear submarine Brexit will be haunted by the ghost of Hughie Green And Theresa May will be replaced by Mr Bean 2017 – I’m really not that keen Cryogenically freeze me in my time machine
6.
2018 03:35
In this pantomime best seller Reduced to cinder ella ella Our ugly systems rage Buttons centre stage The Donald and Kim Jong Just string us along The villain’s Bono – boo! He’s behind U2 Two zero one eight Is it now too late? Everyone hates change So let’s just keep it strange Two zero one eight Step up to the plate Take your curtain call Will the mighty Fall Your fairy godmother Is your older lover etc. I think our final course is Turning mice to horses Two zero one eight Is it now too late? Everyone hates change So let’s just keep it strange The nuclear winter disco tent Plays Donna Summer, not Thom Yorke…
7.
2019 02:18
2019 Oh, what a scream It could be the worst disaster we’ve ever seen Let’s go it alone Let’s buy a drone And hover over Thunderdome (with Post Traumatic Syndrome) Jacob Rees Mogg Opening his gob Fly it in there And spin him into the fog 2019 Get in the sea Give us a tune on yer golden pianner, Betty (Knees up David Cameron) Isn’t it clear? We’re in reverse gear They thought that we’d want what they want, which wasn’t what they wanted either But where are the clowns? The opposing clowns. They’re not even here Oh we’re gonna have a vote of no confidence No confidence No confidence Oh we’re gonna have a vote of no confidence In 2019 2019 Stockpiling fear 2019 Well, happy new year
8.
2020 03:24
You’d think that I’d see clearly now it’s 2020 But the chaos in my head it just gets worse Years and years of songs about years -that is plenty Just when you think here comes the chorus, here’s another verse Raise your glass, don’t raise your hopes – we’re running on empty Your resolutions won’t be televised To all who’ve gone from Barrie Masters To Alasdair Gray Here’s to you and all who realise You don’t wish for your dreams to come true That is not reality Do anything you wanna do In 2020 Accept the chaos that is you Just be what you can be Do anything you wanna do 2020 Just one more go at trying to be real in 2020 Then we can call it off for yet another year It seems we’re mourning more every 12 months, feeling empty But still we’ll give it another shot, oh dear
9.
2021 02:05
In the year 2021 Everybody will want some fun Cos in 2020 we had none Let’s hope it isn’t worse Can you imagine? By the end of 2020 We all went – that’s plenty We all need a jag We need to get away From England, Brexit and George Galloway In the year 2021 We’ll see the end of Boris Johnson Only to be replaced By another pile of crumpled washing With a melted face Oh oh I’ve been working from home too long I really can’t be arsed doing yet another song Predicting what will happen or pretending to care So let’s call it a day and give in to the nightmare But before I get too bleak I’ll try and turn the other cheek Seek out the positive, avoid oblivion That’s my ray of hope and joy for 2021
10.
2022 02:08
Here come 2022 Another year with nutting to do Might as well just sniff some glue Hello 2022 2,0,2,2
11.
2023 01:40
In 2023, I am gonna be 64 Will you still love me? Will you still need me? Or will you just keep the dog and kick me out the door Oh I, Oh I Well, I just can’t get enough of this sweet song That Paul McCartney left behind Take it away Paul Shake it Baby don’t break it
12.
2024 01:24
There’ll be a general election And everybody retching In 2024 2024 I’m going to retire Put my feet up by the fire In 2024 2024 From the paper That sings the news To the paper That’s sick of the news The politics of pointlessness Continues to be meaningless In 2024 2024 Everyone ignores The real fucking wars In 2024 2024 From the paper That sings the news To the paper That’s sick of the news It’s the same Tame It’s insane Insane
13.
2016 (RIP) chorus Two thousand, one six Two thousand, one six Two thousand, one six Rest in pieces, rest in bits David Bowie, Leonard Cohen, Ronnie Corbett, Robert Vaughn Victoria Wood, Caroline Aherne, Garry Shandling, Terry Wogan Richard Adams, Rick Parfitt, George Michael, Liz Smith Carrie Fisher and her mum, Debbie Reynolds, everyone Johan Cruyff, Muhammed Ali, Pete Burns, Prince, John Bradbury Tony Warren, Burt Kwouk, Alan Rickman, Jo Cox chorus AA Gill, George Martin Jean Alexander and Jimmy Young, Andrew Sachs and Keith Emerson, Greg Lake Gene Wilder, Jock Scot, John Glenn, Howard Marks and Dale Griffin...Maurice White chorus Alan Vega, Bobby Vee, Natalie Cole, George Kennedy Frank Kelly, Cliff Michelmore, Ed Stewart, Merle Haggard, Arnold Palmer Ian Mckaskill, Harper Lee, the 1000 Rupee Prince Buster, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Umberto Eco, many more Samsung Galaxy Note 7, Rabbi Lionel Blue's in heaven Anton Yelchin, Carla Lane, Gareth Thomas, Pierre Boulez Anita Brookner, Sharon Jones, Erik Bauersfeld, Toblerone Tony Dyson, Sylvia Anderson, Craig Gill, Denise Robertson, Kenny Baker, Glenn Frey, Leon Russell, USA Fidel Castro, David Gest, Paul Daniels and all the rest Two thousand, one seven Still to come - Armageddon

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Since 2013, the Daily Reckless has featured a new song every January for the upcoming year. Here they all are so far.

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released January 9, 2024

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Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK

Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.

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