The Sun Says

by Tommy Mackay

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On June 8 2017, The Sun produced this front page. I turned the ridiculous bullet points into songs.


released June 11, 2017


tags: pop Edinburgh


all rights reserved


Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK

Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.

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Track Name: Terrorists' Friend
Ooh you made me live
Never mind the magic money tree
It's you the DUP
Ooh you saved my skin now honey
Ooh you made me live

Ooh you're the best friends that I ever had
I'll be with you for a long time
We'll walk in the sunshine and I want you to know
That I can play the flute
And bang a drum too
Terrorist friend
Track Name: Useless On Brexit
The Conservative
And Unionist
Negotiating Team
Are all over this

Send in the CUNTS
Useless at Brexit
Track Name: Destroyer Of Jobs
Destroyer of jobs
That's what they like to call me
I talk to MPs
But they never hear me

The EU hasn't time
To stop and hear what I say
I talk to them all in vain

But suddenly my words
Reach someone else's ear
It's Phil oh dear my dear
Taking out the bins

Destroyer of jobs
For the boys and for the girls
I don't have a bloody clue
Track Name: Enemy Of Business
I'm an enemy of business
They don't like my Brexit plans
They all hate me over in Brussels
And in Germany and France

But at least Donald still loves me
And the DUP still rings
I'm an enemy of business
And of most human beings
Track Name: Massive Tax Hikes
Jez was quizzical; studied the political
Philosophy of Marx
Late nights all alone with Das Kapital
Oh al al al.

Then Ken Livingstone, reading Palestinian
History phones up
"Can I get back into your party,
Jez, eh eh ez?"

But Jez just tells him where to go,
And knocks out his manifesto.

Bang! Bang! Massive tax hikes
Came down upon the rich.
Bang! Bang! Massive tax hikes
Seems to make common sense

While you're at it
Why not ditch Trident
Track Name: Puppet Of Unions
It's time to meet the unions
It's time to talk the talk
I'm no puppet of unions - I can walk the walk

Let's all say up the workers
Stand up for human rights
Don't listen to the papers
The mainstream media circus
Their vitriol can't hurt us
Oh the Sun, the Daily Mail, confrontational uninspirational Murdochational
They are what I'd call the Muppet Show
Track Name: Nuclear Surrender
Nuclear surrender
Protect and survive
Nuclear surrender
It's good to be alive

A finger on the button
Keeps everybody warm
Happy when the mushroom
Clouds creep in
Heralding the dawn

You can have your retribution
When everyone is dead
As fallout rains on your head

Trident is my pillow
No matter where I stray
Nuclear surrender
I'll dream my dreams away
Track Name: Ruinous Spending
Ruinous spending
And lots of lending
I want the world to know I hate austerity
Ruinous spending
It's never ending
It really pisses off the bankers and city

I do believe that I could be happy and contented
If Buckingham Palace could be a place that's rented
I'd make the Queen homeless and nationalise the railways
And make Happy Days national anthem

Ruinous spending
And lots of lending
I want the world to know I hate austerity
Track Name: Open Immigration
Open immigration
All across the nation
Bugger inflation
And free education
Open immigration
European or Asian
Or any permuatation

I'll shine up my only shoes
Put on a brand new shirt
I won't bother wearing a tie
Or sing the national anthem

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you lying?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you trying?
Running all alone through a wheat field feel like flying
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you lying?

Open immigration
Track Name: Marxist Extremist
Are you ready Jez? Uh-huh

Oh what's so funny about health
And the equal distribution of wealth - a huh huh
Those in charge are such a mess
I want to save the NHS - ahuh huh

Oh, I see a man at the back of an allotment
His eyes are as red as the sun
And the woman in the commons gives a shit performance
And she thinks she's the passionate one

Oh yeah! It was eccentric
Canterbury was electric
Gimme some TLC
Kensington and Chelsea

Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah
And the man with the beard - he's no feart
He's a Marxist extremist
And Theresa May has the nerve to say
You're a Marxist extremist
Extremist, extremist, extremist, extremist

Marxist extremist
Marxist extremist
Marxist extremist
Yeah, Marxist extremist