1. |
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Do you know what you're scrolling for?
Is there a text or image you just can't ignore?
What are you scrolling for?
Do you know?
Do you get what you're hopin' for
Do you ever leave your phone when you're outdoors?
What are you hopin' for?
Social media
Social media
You're not supposed to make me blue
Social media
Social media
Sometimes I really miss Yahoo
Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things your swipes are showing you
Where are you scrolling to?
Social media
Social media
Sometimes I really miss Yahoo
Once we never had a timeline
We chased the fantasies that filled our minds
Now we can all access each other instantly
But some of us can't stop doing that constantly
Social media
Socail media
You're not supposed to make me blue
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2. |
Let's Flounce
01:23
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Hey baby if you've had enough
Or you're Huckleberry Hounded off
Let's flounce
Let's flounce
Do the instagram and the facebook too
Unfortunately you don't qualify for Who's Who
Let's flounce
Let's flounce
Dramatic exits are the new goodbyes
Tell the whole world then dry your eyes
Let's flounce
Let's flounce
Do make sure to come back after a week
You don't want people to think you're a freak
Let's flounce
Let's flounce
Oh the wonderful thing about Twitter
Is Twitter's a wonderful thing
It's full of the twisted and bitter
And people who can't even sing
They're flouncy, flouncy, flouncy, flouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun
But the most wonderful thing about Twitter
Is I am great at puns!
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3. |
Subtweet Good To Me
02:20
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Tank girl, Dugdale isn't it a pity
We don't want you to contribute to the kitty
This is bam hot
This is bam hot
Friends tell me I am crazy
That I'm wasting time with you
You're always online
I've got an @ sign use me
Don't try to abuse me
Subtweet good to me
It's such a sneaky move to
Do the subtweet snidey sneer
Subtweet good to me
It's ridiculous I know to say
Say it to my face
When all of this reaction's
Taking place in cyberspace
It's a common affliction
You got cyber addiction
It's a jam hot take
A jam hot take
Subtweet good to me
People always talk about reputation
I don't care about your followers
(Subtweet good to me)
(Subtweet good to me)
Friends tell me you're an abuser
I don't care what you do to them
Subtweet good to me
Tank girl, Dugdale isn't it a pity
No-one really wants you to contribute to the kitty
This is bam hot
This is bam hot
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4. |
You Talk Shite, Hen
01:33
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Desperate for entertainment
So I turn the TV on
There's a Tory minister
Being telt by Mhairi Black
You talk shite, hen
You talk a lot of shite
Then I turn the twitter on
Someone has an opinion
They talk a lot of shite
They talk a lot about shite
Then I turn the facebook on
Someone's been on holiday and had a lot of fun
They talk a lot of shite
They talk a lot about shite
Then I turn on instagram
Someone's taken a picture of a tram
It's a lot of shite
They talk a lot about shite
You see them selling carpets
You see them in the shops
You see them on the kids programmes
And they talk a lot of shite
There's a roly-poly, roly-poly man
He's got a yak haircut (dick, dick, dick)
They talk a lot of shite
You talk shite, hen
You talk shite, hen
You talk shite, hen
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5. |
Eat Y'Self Twitter
01:28
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Embedded Image Permalink
Embedded Image Permalink
Embedded Image Permalink
Embedded Image Permalink
Oh remember when twitter fell (Embedded Image Permalink)
You had to talk to people, well...(Embedded Image Permalink)
Telegram from 1999 (Embedded Image Permalink)
We're having a fantastic time (Embedded Image Permalink)
Embedded Image Permalink
Embedded Image Permalink
I think the computers have won (What's a computer? What's a computer?)
Going back to 1951 (What's a computer? What's a computer?)
The world is black and white again (What's a computer? What's a computer?)
Here's your paper, here's your pen (What's a computer? What's a computer?)
Eat y'self twitter
Eat y'self twitter
Eat y'self twitter
Eat y'self twitter
Productivity is down
Ruby's with her love in town
Do you remember Gordon Brown
or the first minister's dressing gown?
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6. |
Necessary Hashtags
02:07
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Necessary Hashtags
Necessary Hashtags
WhatsApp Encryption
I can't stand the RAM
Inside my Windows
What is all this memory?
The internet's a sham
Oh I remember
News on the BBC
Google is for terror
The Daily Mail said so
Four hundred and four error
Is that another thing
That we should ban?
I don't know
I can't stand WhatsApp
On my Windows
Encryption memory
I can't stand the web
It's got instructions
For stabbing people, see?
Before the computers
The oiks would just give way
Oh I've got sweet sweet memories
Of when the unwashed
Just had nothing to say
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Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK
Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.
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