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Innocence

by Tommy Mackay

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1.
Available 03:20
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On my settee Lying down Watching TV With no sound Programme on after the news Man in the street type of views Switching channels Found a film Naked dancers Out of flesh I reached out to touch the screen And the tube surrounded me All my silver screen stars Are available to me Now I lie down With my box Calling dancers From my box Lavinia Derwent knows She has to keep on her toes
2.
Grey Castle 03:06
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Heartbeat faster, grey door closer Run for grey castle, door is ajar Hunchback servant Greets me in Leads me upstairs, have a drink of wine Very friendly, offers me Woodbine Feeling dizzy, hit the floor Laboratory, I was carried Volts and amperes, volts and amperes Raw mains crushing, colour flushing In my brain cells, in my brain cells But Jean is here Sweeping violins for background noise Heroine is here, what a surprise Hunchback servant looking grim Now I'm safe cos Jean has rescued me Hunchback servant is no longer free Look around us, feelin glad But Jean is gone
3.
Late 01:33
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The car broke down The bus, not round The time, half three The place, surgery It don't matter anyway cos you're late The bed, too cold The sheets won't fold The lights, too dark Get off my mark
4.
Age Gap 01:39
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My mum smokes like your mum My dad walks like your dad Always walking their dogs Age gap Your mum - too much make up To hide her age she's made up She's grown old It's an age gap And when it's all over you take a bow And when it's all over you take a bow Old man going senile Young girl, broad smile Park bench on a Sunday Age gap Young man orders Penthouse Sneaks it into his house Porno on a Sunday Age gap
5.
Calorie Controlled 02:56
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Overweight, out of shape - Angry At the slim boys, in the swim boys - Healthy Watch your calories, vitamin A -Trim down Lose weight, dehydrate Fade away, diet fate Lost two stones in just two weeks - Happy Calorie controlled dinner - Slimcia Pinapple and carrot juice - Supper Go to work on a cabbage leaf - Hungry Go tro sleep with an ounce of bread - Hungry Now my scales read just three stones - Hungry Nothing left, just couldn't stop Skin and bones just decompose
6.
Cecily Plasticine 02:46
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I’m in love with a girl called Cecily She wants to chain herself to me She’s like plasticine in my palms Says she doesn’t want to be free Cecily Plasticine Her head is a hairdryer Cecily Plasticine Where have you been all my life?
7.
Cool Russell 01:47
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He's in an opposing faction Alarm clock set for half five Quarter to ten on a FRiday When Russell comes alive Cool Russell Got a flash C&A jumper A shirt he bought from Mackay's His collar's outside his raincoat A nice selection in ties He's got a girlfriend called Sarah She's trendy down to her toes Attends all the best discos Watches the family shows He's getting married next April His mum said that it was right
8.
Men, Women And Children 03:21
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On the straight line No more curves now Narrow minded Women first now You look different You're not like us We don't like you Are you normal? Men, women and children Men, women and children Normal nation Population We're accepted By our media Won't you join us Look like us please We're not happy With the weirdos All we've found out about life is Screwing, drinking, smoking, talking We're the proles who do as we're told Follow elders Moan about life
9.
Thirteen Precincts 02:17
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New town, new boy, new food, new car New wife waiting in the flat Square domains and none are empty No-one leaves, well fancy that Stuck in a rut cos I live in Glenrothes Some people stay and never make a fuss The population's rising every week Now the floor boards in the town hall start to creak Flash apartments - 1 high rise The rest are lying on their sides Very dull at the youth club hall Excitement don't exist at all My holiday, your holiday Let's get away It's not too late
10.
Low Tide 03:25
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I came to watch the band parade In the high street and down the prom Low tide waters Forecast showers Low tide waters The record stall was fit to crack All shopping done, boy gets a smack I've got to lessen my senses - sit down I've got to lessen my senses - fall down I've got to lessen my senses - right down I've got to lessen my senses - all down I've got to lessen my senses - sit down The crowd calmed down at closing time All going home, some watched the tide The waves were high - drowning the cars The shoppers screamed on the sinking tar
11.
Human Zoo 02:51
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Life after death for the common shrew Makes love daily to garbage Birds of prey in Colchester zoo Chimpanzees in the garage Animal instincts Human zoo Canine teeth Devour you Arthur pigeon in a trance Transferred to the dovecot Pigeon droppings over France Emigrating - can't stop
12.
Flyover 02:12
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Oh oh my next door neighbour Lives in a flyover He always keeps his lights on He always keeps his blinds down Suffers from insomnia Inspects the street at night It keeps him live It keeps him live Fly He loves his little puppy Inspects the street at night His name is Allardice Inspects the street at night He has no real affection For his wife or children

about

from The Diary Of A Musical Nobody Chapter Three.

After unearthing some old cassettes from the late 1970s/early 80s, I thought I’d discovered a treasure trove of rare unheard masterpieces of modern music. Well, turns out I didn’t, but in amongst the dross were quite a few wee gems that I decided to rescue from the skip. These are tunes I wrote in my teens and early twenties – most of them never played live, but some I played with my old groups, The Pedestrians, The Innocents, The Voice Toys and Third Light.

Remastered tracks. Hear the originals here: www.dailyreckless.com/diary-1978/

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released February 17, 2023

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Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK

Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.

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