If you're really jealous of a wage a woman's got
Then we can say that you've got Tony Parsons Cock
He really thinks that women find him clever and funny
He loves women as long as they don't make big money
Tony Parsons Cock
Tony Parsons Cock
He says his dad was working class quite a lot
Tony Parsons Cock
Tony Parsons Cock
He's smugger than a mockney cooking with a punk wok
There's really nothing nastier
Than opening up your 'Grazia'
And being hit by Tony Parsons' column
He's more gung ho than Churchill
Not as smart as Julie Burchill
His bollocks are uptight and looking solemn
Tony Parsons Cock
Tony Parsons Cock
He says his dad was working class quite a lot
Tony Parsons Cock
Tony Parsons Cock
His bollocks are uptight and solemn
Here comes Tony Parsons' column
We remember Julie Burchill
And that she truly virtually
Pissed all over you, ripped you apart
She should've finished off the job
And took a blade to your limp nob
And while she was down there, ripped out your heart
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