I got a van of badgers
Cos they're going out of fashion
They're driving me bananas
I hope that I don't crash 'em
Times are really hard
Not particularly glamorous
I've gotta gas the wildlife
Or the taxman will hammer us
When I was a Gladiator life was never dull
Then I became a driver in a governmental cull
The animals of Farthing Wood
And Alistair Darling could
Not stop me (he looks like a badger, you see?)
I got the muscle
I got the looks
I got a girlfriend called Kelly Brook
I let go the wheel
There was a squeal
I got the badgers and the bus stop's here
I felt so helpless what could I do? (Do do)
I should've taken them to Edinburgh Zoo.
(To see the pandas, zebras and the kangaroos)
The people just stopped and stared.
You would have thought I could have cared.
They'll never forget the Kelly Brooks' Badger Crash
Kelly Brook's Badger Crasher
Kelly Brook's Badger Crasher
Kelly Brook's Badger Crasher (Don't tell Brian May)
Kelly Brook's Badger Crasher (No, no, no, no, no way)
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