"I want to take this opportunity to talk to you straight about the action the government is taking on the economy."
Gordon Brown, superhero
Saved the pound and the euro
We're all bankers now
From Shetland to Slough
Crash, bang, kepow!
Thanks, Gordon Brown
"Now let's come straight to the point. I'm able to read, write and count."
Faster than the speed of inflation
He has saved everyone's bacon
His superpowers and golden showers have saved the day
Hip, hip hooray!
"Labour is the party of the NHS. MRSA is in our DNA. Sometimes I get angry with this government beating everyone on their heads because it really hurts. And today I want to send David Milliband to Darfur."
RBS, Lloyds TSB
And HBOS technically
Are owned by us
Let's all go nuts
Mum's gone to Iceland
We're off to the dogs.
"I want to unleash on this country a new wave of anti-social behaviour. I want Britain to lead the world in beating infants and their parents. So, today I guarantee to parents at this very moment - this Labour government has an axe aimed straight at their children. I am a celebrity. And let us remember, there's nothing we can do. There's nothing higher to aim for. No great causes left that are worth fighting for. Perhaps that's just as well."
"That was predictable. It was all so predictable. So relentlessly predictable."
" These are global problems which require global solutions. That's why we will seize up and break down."