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More Party Pieces

by Tommy Mackay

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1.
Moon Dip 01:49
At the moon dip, moon dip At the moon dip, moon dip Squirming on the floor, heads dropped to one side Never miss a step and they're still doing the hand jive At the moon dip, moon dip At the moon dip, moon dip Copied movements from last week's Revolver show But we're not sheep are we, we'll ride this wave and flow I started last week's brand new dance
2.
What happened to the angry eyes Who now just make a compromise They rebelled with the world as it stands Today less speech and less demands They're cutting down on conflict What a turn around No more axe to grind Just a mumbled sound What happened to the angry eyes Who now just make a compromise They rebelled with the world as it stands Today less speech and less demands They're cutting down on conflict What a turn around No more axe to grind Just a mumbled sound What's your main worry now?
3.
I'm waiting in a queue They tell me what to do When I get to the top They'll send me to a shop Don't charge nothing to me Only if it's free I've got to make demands Try another stance Allowance for my clothes So everybody knows I'll need some company But only if it's free I'm waiting in a queue They tell me what to do When I get to the top They'll send me to a shop I'll need some company But only if it's free Don't charge nothing to me Only if it's free
4.
And every step you take's a Character sacrifice You listen with intent You build yourself up nice Cos it's an interview And you must plant this job Know your surroundings and say The right thing on the spot Character sacrifice, character sacrifice Character sacrifice, character sacrifice The personnel man picks on Your references to date He'll look you up and down Tell you to have your say Look your man in the eye Ask him what is the price You have to act the part Character sacrifice Character sacrifice, character sacrifice Character sacrifice, character sacrifice And every step you take's a Character sacrifice You listen with intent You build yourself up nice Cos it's an interview And you must plant this job Know your surroundings and say The right thing on the spot
5.
Slice me off my half Let's toast the fatted calf We'll open up today Something must give way Anyway you want, choosy I am not Fatted calf shall stay Who shall bear the sow, carve my slice right now We must celebrate Anniversary Everyone's happy Don't sulk in in the corner Come join with us all
6.
Gin Rummy 01:19
I need a kind alibi No sympathy, I could cry Don't want to dissociate I'll complain until late When the light's dark to me And you play Gin Rummy It's so easy to hide When you've found your disguise Kill the moths and the flies That all gather to see You playing Gin Rummy
7.
Third Man 01:56
Waiting for a decent part An actor with a golden heart He's the third man He's the third man He says his line when in a film The cast at the end always says that He's the third man He's the third man Norman Grrenbaum, Norman Greenbaum Norman Grrenbaum, Norman Greenbaum He's the third man He's the third man
8.
Down to homely bar, meet the nicest Joe Start a conversation but he's talking of the weather Now he's telling me his jacket's imitation leather And so he's dragging on about how prices have near doubled Informing me again about his sister's latest trouble Quite a conversation stopper Where was you bred Said I was a teenybopper Where was you bred Actually I started life inside a cosy warm place From the womb my mother did not like the l;ook on my face Now nicey Joe is saying how irrelevant I am God he is an unbearable intelligent man Quite a conversation stopper Where was you bred Said I was a teenybopper Where was you bred I ain't gonna catch you when you fall
9.
Well, well, well, you've found your perfect lifestyle You used to be so mad, it seems you've shyed down The trouble is you love you and it shows through Now you're just content to pose and look good Seems to me you've grown up Oh oh oh Seems to me you've died Oh, oh, oh You're in love and smart now Oh, oh, oh Hope your kids grow up fine Oh, oh, oh Now you claim you move in higher circles Mixing at smart parties, wear the right clothes Desperately making conversation You've really got us all yawn, yawn, yawning Ah, ah... Seems to me you've grown up Oh oh oh Seems to me you've died Oh, oh, oh You're in love and smart now Oh, oh, oh Hope your kids grow up fine Oh, oh, oh
10.
Americanised 02:38
Singing with revenge - a U.S. accent I love your confidence, bt where's your voice went You used to say och aye, a little Gaelic And you were proud of that, you wouldn't change it You're so Americanised You're so Americanised You're so Americanised Oh what a patriarch, you were so loyal You wore a tartan scarf - you kissed the soil The thing I hate is kilts, heather and scotch stew But I never dreamed that you would change too Now You're so Americanised You're so Americanised You're so Americanised
11.
I just want all things to be I don't want all things to be I want everything I get I don't want anything yet I'm so conservative I'm so conservative I'm so conservative I've got curtains on my window I haven't got a dog at all I'd like to buy some glossy mag Imitation leather bag I'm so conservative I'm so conservative I'm so conservative
12.
Glenrothes remains Totally unchanged In the youth club hall The balding manager calls How do you think it feels? In the kingdom shops While we spend our days Here's the heavy squad To beat you for your wage How do you think it feels? Only 14 and you're mildly dependent on drink And you're too confused to think Glenrothes remains Remains
13.
It's no-one's party Least no-one that I know Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh It's only started And we're getting stoned Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh With any luck, we'll catch pneumonia And if I don't, I can always phone ya The conversation is at it's lowest ebb Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Everyone's staring at the walls instead Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh With any luck, we'll catch pneumonia And if I don't, I can always phone ya It's half eleven and now we're having fun Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Hey, come on over before you miss the fun Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh With any luck, we'll catch pneumonia And if I don't, I can always phone ya What a shame, the party's over What a shame, the party's over The party's over
14.
Here's the matinee Here's the sandy sea Waltzer cartoon time Flash and romance Lots of reds and pies Bright balloons and skies Waltzer cartoon time Bugs Bunny Comic strips Whizzer and Chips Plenty laughs Stars autographs Now it's neon town Oh the brassy clown Waltzer cartoon time Foghorn Leghorn

about

from The Diary Of A Musical Nobody Chapter Five.

After unearthing some old cassettes from the late 1970s/early 80s, I thought I’d discovered a treasure trove of rare unheard masterpieces of modern music. Well, turns out I didn’t, but in amongst the dross were quite a few wee gems that I decided to rescue from the skip. These are tunes I wrote in my teens and early twenties – most of them never played live, but some I played with my old groups, The Pedestrians, The Innocents, The Voice Toys and Third Light.

Remastered tracks. Hear the originals here: www.dailyreckless.com/diary-1979/

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released March 10, 2023

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Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK

Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.

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