1. |
||||
"It's crunch time. It's crunch time."
"I want to take this opportunity to talk to you straight about the action the government is taking on the economy."
Gordon Brown, superhero
Saved the pound and the euro
We're all bankers now
From Shetland to Slough
Crash, bang, kepow!
Thanks, Gordon Brown
"Now let's come straight to the point. I'm able to read, write and count."
Faster than the speed of inflation
He has saved everyone's bacon
His superpowers and golden showers have saved the day
Hip, hip hooray!
"Labour is the party of the NHS. MRSA is in our DNA. Sometimes I get angry with this government beating everyone on their heads because it really hurts. And today I want to send David Milliband to Darfur."
RBS, Lloyds TSB
And HBOS technically
Are owned by us
Let's all go nuts
Mum's gone to Iceland
We're off to the dogs.
"I want to unleash on this country a new wave of anti-social behaviour. I want Britain to lead the world in beating infants and their parents. So, today I guarantee to parents at this very moment - this Labour government has an axe aimed straight at their children. I am a celebrity. And let us remember, there's nothing we can do. There's nothing higher to aim for. No great causes left that are worth fighting for. Perhaps that's just as well."
"That was predictable. It was all so predictable. So relentlessly predictable."
" These are global problems which require global solutions. That's why we will seize up and break down."
|
||||
2. |
Let's Get Fiscal
01:22
|
|||
About a trillion dollars has been spent to re-capitalse the banks.
There's about seven trillion dollars in guarantees for the banks
Good bank, bad bank
Good bank, bad bank
You've got to isolate the bad assets
The capitalisation was the first stage of the process
What you've now got to do is look at how you can isolate the bad assets
I think there should be international discussion on what are the best models
Essentially all the crises have been inflation crises since the 1940s
Fiscal stimulus
Fiscal stimulus
You've got to isolate the bad assets
You've got to isolate the bad assets
Fiscal stimulus
Fiscal stimulus
The capitalisation was the first stage of the process
What you've now got to do is look at how you can isolate the bad assets
Good bank, bad bank
Fiscal stimulus
|
||||
3. |
Dour Prudence
02:22
|
|||
Dour Prudence - that's my philosophy
Dour Prudence - I'm gonna make you pay
I've been a dour cunt all my life
On account of me being fay Fife
Dour Prudence
Won't you open up your purse?
Dour Prudence - I used to be PM
Dour Prudence - I've gone downhill since then
As Chancellor I stayed dour
By making everybody poor
Dour Prudence
I sold our gold supplies
For a pound
|
||||
4. |
Stand And Deliver
02:01
|
|||
I'm the dour Scotsman that you're too scared to mention
I spent your cash on banking gash
And nuclear deterrents
The devil take your principles
And socialist intentions
You're all a bunch of bigots
And I've fucked up all your pensions
Stand and deliver
Your money or your life
I'll screw you over
I'm from fucking Fife
I'm the dowdy Scottishman so sick of Tony's fashions
The hand gesture, the plastic smile
That people think so dashing
I nicked them all but still you hate me
It's obvious I'm faking
It's kind of shit to tell the kids
The big mistake they're making
Stand and deliver
Your money or your life
I'll screw you over
I'm from fucking Fife
Me and Mandy have your soul
Your pension will be mine
All mine
Gaffe gaffe, I did a little gaffe gaffe
I did a little gaffe gaffe
I did a little gaffe gaffe
|
||||
5. |
Bigoted Woman
03:27
|
|||
Got a bigoted woman
I got a bigoted woman
Yes, I got a bigoted woman
Name of Gillian Duffy
Yeah she's a bigoted woman
And she's tryin' to make a devil out of me
Remember to turn your mic off
Remember to turn your mic off
Yes, when you get back in the car
To get away from the proles
Remember turn your mic off
'Cause you might just end up on the radio
Let's have a cup of tea woman
Let's have a cup of tea woman
Yes, let's have a cup of tea woman
Let's forget my heart is a stone
I need you so, bigoted woman, I can't leave you alone
|
||||
6. |
Perfect Skint
03:33
|
|||
7. |
King Of Kirkcaldy
02:33
|
|||
Oooh Gordon. I know you spend night times
Wrapped like Ghandi in a cool cool neon vow
Fade away and radiate - Naw!
Fade away and radiate - Naw!
Why won't anybody listen to me?
Thank god for the Daily Record and the BBC
Fade away and radiate - Naw!
Fade away and radiate - Naw!
It's me, it's me, it's me
Don't listen to the SNP
It's me, it's me, it's me
I'm the King of Kirkcaldy
I used to be prime minister you know
Everybody loved me
Tony told me so
|
||||
8. |
I'm The Manse
03:04
|
|||
I run this country
I run this town
I'm a real cunt, yeah
I'm Gordon Brown
I was born in Kirkcaldy
I'm a son of the kirk
My daddy was a preacher
So I don't have to work
I spell M-A-N-S-E
Manse
Some people say I'm dour
Some people say I'm glum
Is it any wonder ya hoor?
Have you seen what I do with my tongue?
Now, that's a strange habit
I'm sure you'll agree
That's why I'm wabbit
I'm gonna tax your pee
I'm a real Fifer
I'm from the Lang Toun
If you wanna sup with me boy
You'll need a lang spoon
They say that we're inbred
We people from Fife
You ask my big sister
She's my step-father's wife
|
||||
9. |
Crash Gordon vs Mandy
01:53
|
|||
"Our economy, like any other, is facing a very hard challenge as a result of the global financial crisis and in a sense it's all hands on deck."
"Gordon's alive!"
"Each of us has to play our part and that's what I propose to do myself."
Look who's coming back to town
Riding on the coat tails of Gordon Brown
It's Peter Mandelson
People say that Gordon's brave
Bringing him back from the grave
And it's a gamble
Can't be long now before we see Alistair Campbell
Oh Mandy
You've been in the government three times now
And you can't stay away
How handy
We thought you loved Tony, but now you love Brown
You're the comeback kid
Do you see what I did there?
I used an old song and changed the lyrics
So now it's something to do with politics
That's satire
"Ah, ah! He'll save every one of us. Just a man with a man's courage. You know he's nothing but a man who can never fail."
"Third time lucky!"
|
||||
10. |
||||
The Sun and Gordon Brown are no more
They have parted company
But The Sun have still got tits on page three
They're called the Conservatives
Gordie, woe oh woe
They wouldn't have him in the Dandy
The Sunday Post rejected Mandy
Even The People's Friend
The Daily Record's sticking with Brown
The Scotsman's going down
The Star is with John Smeaton
The Sun and Gordon Brown are no more
The Independent will wait and see
But who will back the poor SNP?
No Country Life
Look out, it's David Cameron
And his Eton arseholes
Eton arseholes
|
||||
11. |
I'm Serious
02:07
|
|||
12. |
||||
Ooh ooh - let's get down
Ooh ooh - Gordon Brown
Kirkcaldy, Kirkcaldy
They have got a Civic Body
They lobby, they lobby
The lino factory is not shoddy
You've got to give it welly
It's historic said some felly
I saw it on the telly
Some folk say that lino's smelly
Ooh ooh - let's get down
Ooh ooh - Jaaaaaaames Brown
It's no fair, says Lino Blair
Arrividitchie Lino Ritchie
|
Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK
Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.
Streaming and Download help
If you like Tommy Mackay, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp