1. |
Quockerwodger
01:28
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When I'm watching the TV,
It's always you I seem to see,
Sitting in a corner with a dictionary
Staring at Jimmy Carr's face
I said Hey Sue Dent, hey Sue Dent, hey Sue Dent,
You're gonna need a bigger word,
I said Hey Sue Dent, hey Sue Dent, hey Sue Dent,
You're gonna get another word
I said quockerwodger, quockerwodger
Quockerwodger, word of the day
Quockerwodger, quockerwodger
Quockerwodger, wah wah wah
a toy puppet; one whose strings are pulled
entirely by someone else.
I said Hey Sue Dent, hey Sue Dent, hey Sue Dent,
You're gonna need a bigger word,
I said Hey Sue Dent, hey Sue Dent, hey Sue Dent,
You're gonna get another word
I said quockerwodger, quockerwodger
Quockerwodger, word of the day
Quockerwodger, quockerwodger
Quockerwodger, wah wah wah
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2. |
Hurkle Durkling
00:45
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Well, I’ve been hurkle-durkling
It’s 18th century slang
For lounging about/lying in bed
Reading back copies of Kerrang
Kerrang – get up
Kerrang – get up
I can’t be bothered, nah
I’ll just lie for a while
In my duvet
I’ll be wrapped in eiderdown
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3. |
Kakistocracy
01:36
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Kakistocracy
Please wear your mask dear
The Lord above can see you
Don’t you know people are dying to meet ya
Bumble on, elbow bump, Benny Hill eejit
This is what people want, they voted to feed you
The over-indulgent reacting like children
Knowing that no-one can touch them or teach them
They look just like humans
And hospitals need them
Decadent brains at work to destroy
Rats in batallions ruling the streets
Kakistocracy
Government by the worst people
And they laugh to themselves chauffered in their Mercedes
The worst of the worst over privileged babies
Kakistocracy
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4. |
Hingum-Tringum
00:53
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Hingum-tringum
Hingum-tringum
Hingum-tringum
People say it’s all an act and we agree
The bumbling’ s a cover, he’s a cunt you see
They say it’s a distraction, but he’s also dull
Feeble and barely presentable
That’s where he’s coming from
Boris Johnson
He’s got everything he needs to keep him satisfied
There’s nothing you can do to make him change his mind
He’s having so much fun
Boris Johnson
Brrm brrm rar rar
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5. |
Pishmonger
01:02
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Pishmonger
Even Right Said Fred adore ya
Pishmonger
Lord Haw Haw and Lord Farquar qua qua qua
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6. |
Circumbendibus
02:09
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One of the best sights on a London street today
Is an elongated vehicle that likes to bend both ways
But what we would like to hear so that it can warn us
Is the sound of an accordion when it goes round corners
Oh circumbendy, bendy, bendy, bendy ,bendy bus
You are very trendy and so say all of us
Please sign the petition
Oh it would be such bliss
If every time you turned a corner it sounded like this…
Oh circumbendy, bendy, bendy, bendy ,bendy bus
You’re not very good at going in reverse
Please sign the petition
Oh it would be such bliss
If every time it turned a corner it sounded like this…
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7. |
Ultracrepidarians
02:20
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Wherever you go and whatever you do
You will spend a lot of time
With people who don't have a clue
Well I'm tired of it all
The same blowhards on line
The river of opinion
Is stronger than the rhythm of time
Ultracrepidarians
One who gives opinions and shouts
Ultracrepidarians
On things they know nothing about
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Judging while knowing nowt, oh oh
Ultracrepidarians
One who gives opinions and shouts
Ultracrepidarians
On things they know nothing about
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Judging while knowing nowt, oh oh
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8. |
Apanthropy
02:09
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I think I want to be a hermit
Living on bread and beer and cheese
I don't think I need a permit
I'll grow a beard down to my knees
Don't wanna go out tonight
Everything is shite
I'm in a bad mood all the time
Looks like we're not in this together
People are lapping up the lies
Looks like we're in for nazi weather
Time for me to say my goodbyes
Don't wanna go out tonight
Everything is shite
I'm in a bad mood all the time
Russian, American or British
Chinese and all points inbetween
Every roadside verge is full of rubbish
I got an acute case of apanthropy
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9. |
Malversation
01:17
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Boris and Carrie were in love they said
Some say she was a spy in No.10
Soon everybody knew the thing was dead
He shouts, she bites, they argue through the night
She go crazy
Got to make a getaway
Boris say
Um, er...more bloviation
Empty rhetoric and no remorse
Oh - congratulations
This is malversation of course
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10. |
||||
We're forever giving out baubles
Playing you all for fools
Here comes Plan B
Don't mention the party
We'll do what we like
You stick to the rules
Here's another dead cat
For the Downing Street pet cemetry
We're forever giving out baubles
Places peasants please
We're dreaming dreams
We're scheming schemes
Selling our souls away
We get our kicks
Playing politics
And saying you can't play
We're giving out a warning
Which everyone will be ignoring
We're forever giving out baubles
Pretty baubles, there, there, there
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11. |
Sparple
00:56
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To sparple is to deflect unwanted attention
From one thing by making a big deal of another
I could mention
Nadine Dorries or Julia wotserface
Slagging the BBC
It's a hit job by the nutjobs to distract us from dog's nob*
The big nob that's big dog that's code for the blonde snob
Who slobbers from his gob
In 10 Downing Street
*line by @MajorPazuzu https://twitter.com/MajorPazuzu
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12. |
Struthious
01:16
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Struthious
You're hiding from reality
You say it's nothing to do with me
Oh, baby, you're so struthious
Struthious
Resembling an ostrich
Pretending things just don't exist
Huh, baby, you're so struthious
When you watch the news
You just out and out refuse
The facts
You're not the kind of person 'round who I want to relax
When I see you walking down the street
I wonder how you manage to make ends meet
It's a wonder that you know how to move your feet
Oh, babe, you're so struthious
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13. |
Latibulate
01:31
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Latibulate, wake me up later
Latibulate, wake me up when
It is all over
Whenever the shit hits the fan
I make like little Jack Horner
Except I stick my thumb up my arse
And hide in a corner
Then I wait for someone else
To clean up the mess
And I can claim that it was me
I'm a raging success!
Latibulate, wake me up later
Latibulate, wake me up when
It is all over
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Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK
Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.
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