40 Odd Years Of The Fall

by Tommy Mackay

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1.
Your life will be a better place With Mark E Smith in your face I heard the voices, I got the call God was saying, Listen to The Fall Is anyone listening at all? 40 odd years of The Fall 40 odd years of The Fall 40 odd years of The Fall 40 odd years No in depth analysis Just have a bleedin guess Grotesque, sinister, unutterable Time travel, horror and football Is anyone listening at all? 40 odd years of The Fall 40 odd years of The Fall 40 odd years of The Fall 40 odd years From Bingo Master's Breakout to Nine Out Of Ten We will never see your likes again I cannot resist the urge From Live At The Witch Trials to New Facts Emerge
2.
Dance this MES around Fall sound, Fall sound Last chance to turn around To Fall sound, Fall sound Go... Everybody goes to parties They dance this MES around They do the Middle Mass They do the Cruisers Creek Do the Tuff Life Boogie Do the Hip Priest Ah-Hip Hip Hip Hip hip hip Shake Off, Shake Off Do the Sinister Waltz The Hot Aftershave Bop Take two steps back Do the Laptop Dog Do the Twister The 986 Generator Up the stairs mister And do the Amorator Everybody goes to parties They dance this MES around 15 ways to leave your lover on the dance floor Fall sound, Fall sound Do the Rowche Rumble Do the Aqua-rosa (aqua rosa) Do the Can Can Summer Do the Reformation Just step sideways Do the Whizz Bang Butterflies for brains And Kick The Can The Marquis Cha Cha (Clasp Hands) Do the Fol De Rol Do the Exploding Chimney The Middle Class Revolt Do the Pumpkin Soup & Mashed Potatoes It's The New Thing Hands Up Billy, do the Cyber Insekt Do the Aphid Everybody goes to parties They dance this MES around Fall sound, Fall sound Do the Monocard Do the 2 X 4 Check your shoulder pads But watch the slippy floor
3.
Well she lives all alone in a Manchester flat, She wears Pringle jumpers and a floppy hat, And her one aim in life is to be in The Fall Banging some bongos, she's waiting for the call Go have a go Granny on bongos Do you remember how that Fall song goes? The one with a megaphone and a kazoo And H.P. Lovecraft fighting in world war two Well one day Mark E Smith happened to be in town So she turned up in her dressing gown, She climbed up on stage and proceeded to dance Then fiddled with all the controls on the amps Go have a go Granny on bongos Do you remember how that Fall song goes? The one with a megaphone and a kazoo And H.P. Lovecraft fighting in world war two
4.
Fall On You 02:02
Yes, I know, it's boring Yes, I know, it's boring Did you ever get the feeling That you have to play a Fall LP Yes, I know, it's boring To educate somebody? Then you tell them they won't be sorry Yes, I know, it's boring Do you ever wonder "Is it me?" Will it happen to somebody new That's when you know The pain that's gonna fall on you But all the time you're worried 'bout The pain that you might put them through It really doesn't matter if they don't feel the same as you They're hardly gonna turn into a fan of Kajagoogoo But all the time you're worried 'bout The pain that's gonna fall on you You've gotta change the record, Change the guy's track record soon Or else you're gonna end up howling at the moon It's a sorry state of affairs When the only thing that you can do Is worry all the time about The pain that's gonna fall on you Yes, I know, it's boring Yes, I know, it's boring
5.
Curmudgeon 03:08
Curmudgeon Get off the phone Curmudgeon Go it alone Leave the hardy millenials To grow by themselves Play catch up on fibre book Like and share your instant grammes Curmudgeon Hey lazy hack Curmudgeon Put your press pack back Don't call me curmudgeon It's so old hat Curmudgeon This hat is flat Leave the hardy millenials To grow by themselves Play catch up on fibre book Like and share your instant grammes Curmudgeon Hey lazy hack Curmudgeon Put your press release back Don't call me curmudgeon Flat hat hack hat A very famous sports reporter Wants it back Curmudgeon Get off the phone Curmudgeon Go it alone Go it alone
6.
500 ex members 50 LPs - quotes used in a thousand pieces Always the same, always different The most overused of Fall clichés It only takes a glance at Wikipedia To get the guff spread by the mainstream media It doesn't take too much effort to use your ears Just let your lazy brain run riot through the gears Go on, try Badly drawn anecdotes about Badly Drawn Boy Madly inaccurate accounts of Can and Neu Curmudgeon is the hack shorthand of choice Finishing sentences with 'ah' to mock the voice Go on, try If you, or somebody you know round Salford way Has been affected by being in The Fall - hey Please ring this number and we'll tell you what to say We're dying to slip in another Fall cliché Go on, try
7.
D'ye ken John Peel do ya do ya eh? Do ye ken John Peel from the end of day? Do ye ken John Peel now he's far, far away With his Sounds and The Fall in the morning? With the sound of Pickin The Blues in my head His theme tune by Grinderswitch I heard in bed, He changed from admiring the Grateful Dead To playing The Fall till the morning. Yes, I kent John Peel on Radio 1, Ten to twelve in seventy seven From prog to reggae, from reggae to punk From punk to death metal with no warning. Then here's to John Peel from my heart and soul Let's drink to his health, let's finish the bowl, We followed John Peel even when he played Hole Till the early hours of the morning. D'ye ken John Peel with his wife The Pig? He liv'd at Peel Acres where he'd put on gigs, Now he has gone far, far, far away, We shall ne'er hear his voice in the morning.
8.
Well I'm gonna have to tidy up this mess I have created I'm over achieving and not appreciated Oh isn't it a crying pity boo hoo hoo I'm not appreciated for the things that I do You write a stupid song and expect someone to like it Even if they do, I cannot tell, I'm not a psychic Sometimes I wonder if 1 and 1 is 2 I'm not appreciated for the things that I do Well I was walking down the street and I heard somebody say, 'Modernity, moderninity, modernity' Sometimes I wonder, Is that kung fu? I'm not appreciated for the things that I do The hardest working satirist in Scottish comedy A song a day, and more, and completely fucking free Powered by Tennents and Irn Bru I'm not appreciated for the things that I do Not appreciated Not appreciated I'm not appreciated for the things I do
9.
Fi's Fags 03:18
Fi was sitting in Bennet's Bar In Edinburgh She was a little curious She had a little orange She felt a little spurious She was sucking on a lozenge She had a Marlboro hanging from her lips When in walks Mark E Smith He says, Can I have a fag So she offered him the packet He took the fucking lot Stuck them in his jacket She was furious at the radge Furious at the radge Fictitious press headline read Fractious Fall Frontman Filches Fags Fi's fags Fi's fags Fi's fags Mark E Smith, he didn't dally He fucked right off Down a back alley It was like watching Mohammed Ali In a Michael Clark ballet 99% of non-smokers die
10.
All Fall down Live at the Witch Trials All Fall down Dragnet All Fall down Grotesque (After the Gramme) All Fall down Slates All Fall down Hex Enduction Hour All Fall down Room to Live All Fall down Perverted by Language All Fall down The Wonderful and Frightening World Of... This Nation's Saving Grace, Bend Sinister The Frenz Experiment I Am Kurious Oranj, Extricate Shift-Work, Code: Selfish All Fall down The Infotainment Scan All Fall down Middle Class Revolt All Fall down Cerebral Caustic All Fall down The Light User Syndrome All Fall down Levitate All Fall down The Marshall Suite All Fall down The Unutterable Are You Are Missing Winner The Real New Fall LP (Formerly Country on the Click) Fall Heads Roll, Reformation Post TLC Do you feel it, feel it, feel it? All Fall down Do you feel it, feel it, feel it? All Fall down Do you feel it, feel it, feel it? All Fall down Do you feel it, feel it, feel it? All Fall down Do you feel it, feel it, feel it? Imperial Wax Solvent All Fall down, Your Future Our Clutter Do you feel it, feel it, feel it? Ersatz GB All Fall down Re-Mit Do you feel it, feel it, feel it? Sub-Lingual Tablet All Fall down New Facts Emerge Do you feel it, feel it, feel it? All Fall down Do you feel it, feel it, feel it? Everytime you need them, they are there To ease the pain that fogs you And when you don't need them, up the stair Mister
11.
No Musos 02:18
1,2,3.14 Pi! All good scientists go to heaven Open 22 over 7 Non sequitur, non sequitur A technical wizard or a strummer, I know what I prefer No musos No musos No musos No musos Oodly doodly fey as a fern Will these show offs never learn? 25 notes where 1 would do The over indulgent muso crew No musos No musos No musos No musos Two Masters of Ceremony equals MC squared Non sequitur, non sequitur You have to laugh or else you're Christ Non sequitur, non sequitur Jesus was a poltergeist Non sequitur, non sequitur All this whining by the musical snobs Checking their privilege and nuanced gobs There's a fire in the snow, you'd think it would melt it But the snow put out the fire and nobody felt it Gies peace, gies peace, gies peace, gies peace, gies piece No musos No musos No musos No musos
12.
Everyone knows someone who's been in The Fall Everyone knows someone who's been in The Fall Bass player or drummer Guitar or keyboards Just in for the summer Right song, wrong chords Everyone knows someone who's been in The Fall Everyone knows someone who's been in The Fall Violin or banjo Trumpet or kazoo Don't mention the bongo If you know what's good for you Everyone knows someone who's been in The Fall Everyone knows someone who's been in The Fall Who's been in The Fall? Mark E Smith Martin Bramah Tony Friel Una Baines Steve Omrod Karl Burns Jonny Brown Eric McGann Yvonne Pawlett Marc Riley Mike Leigh Craig Scanlon Steve Hanley Paul Hanley Dave Tucker Brix Smith Simon Rogers Simon Wolstencroft Marcia Schofield Kenny Brady Dave Bush Julia Nagle Lucy Rimmer Adrian Flanagan Tommy Crooks Kate Themen Karen Leatham Tom Head Neville Wilding Adam Halal Spencer Birtwistle Ben Pritchard Jim Watts Brian Fanning Ed Blaney Dave Milner Elena Poulou Simon Archer Steve Trafford Tim Presley Rob Barbato Orpheo McCord Pete Greenway Dave Spurr Keiron Melling Daren Garrett Paul Bonney Michael Clapham

about

Songs inspired by The Fall. Ties in with the book of the same name available here: www.dailyreckless.com/product/40-odd-years-of-the-fall/

credits

released November 18, 2018

All original compositions except track 3 based on The Purple Gang's 'Granny Takes A Trip', track 4 based on Moby Grape's 'Fall On You', track 7 traditional and track 10 based on 13th Floor Elevators' 'Don't Fall Down.'

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Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK

Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.

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