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I've Never Seen A Straight Banana

from Straight Bananas by Tommy Mackay

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lyrics - Quantick/Fraser/Gray/Mackay

lyrics

I've seen a lesbian kiwi fruit
Got a bisexual pomegranate to boot
But I've never seen a straight banana.

Well, I've been to the end of the street and back
And I own six albums by Shakatak
But I've never seen a straight banana

I've had a closeted kumquat,
gay gooseberries and what not,
But I've never seen a straight banana

I've known legumes both right and proper
Heard fruity language from a bent copper
But I've never seen a straight banana

My plums are bi curious
My mouldy peaches furious
But I've never seen a straight banana

My passion fruit has lost its ardour
Tomatoes are twixt fridge and larder
But I've never seen a straight banana

credits

from Straight Bananas, released February 28, 2017
lyrics - Quantick/Fraser/Gray/Mackay

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Tommy Mackay Edinburgh, UK

Scottish comedy performer and editor of The Daily Reckless - the paper that sings the news.

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